Communicating From A Place Of “I’m already whole and complete”.

Please don’t fall into that trap.

The trap of running after another “shiny object”. To get somewhere. To be something.

It won’t change anything deep down. It won’t change you. It can’t change you.

The One Thing You Need To Know

Let me be clear, learning a language (or anything else for that matter) is not going to make you more fulfilled. Or more confident. Or good enough.

This is what I tell my language learners and I feel that you need to know this too.

You know why?

Because you’re already complete. You don’t need to be fixed. You don’t need any additional accessories to “upgrade” you because you’ve already got a vast array of in-built options. You’re fully customized and optimized. You always have been. Since birth.

If you think deep down that you’re not enough and by speaking a language better, you’ll feel better about yourself, you’re on the wrong track. In the wrong game.

Language isn’t a tool for that. (Nothing is).

It’s like trying to use a spoon to peel an apple.

Wrong tool. You’ll get nowhere.

Right from the start, you’ll be making your learning journey much more complicated because you’ll be trying to get to two destinations at once.

You’ll be trying to:

  1. do what you need to do to improve your mastery of the language AND
  2. do what you need to do to feel secure, fulfilled, more confident, worthy…

So, instead of just focusing on what you need to do to help your language to grow and flow, you’ll be focusing on your ego.

And we know how the ego works. The ego worries about how it looks to others. It’s eaten up by its fear of looking like a failure and making mistakes. It’s constantly comparing, judging, worrying.

It’s like a lead anchor preventing your flight to fluency from smoothly taking off.

One step forward, one step back.

What can we do instead

Photo Credit: Allie Smith on Unsplash

If you want to improve your language learning, you can. No doubt about it. But it’ll be much less effort and much more enjoyable if you approach it from a totally different place.

You need to come from the place deep inside you that knows that you’re already fine and you always will be. A place of innate wellbeing and limitless potential. Whether you know how to fluently speak the language in question or not.

From here, you’ll see that everything else is just bonus points: the sweet, glazed cherry on the top of the cake.

You’re just doing it for the fun of it, for the exhilarating ride. You don’t need it to feel something. You already know that you can create that feeling whenever you want, without being helped by anything external.

Imagine how much lighter and free you could feel whilst learning?

Do you see now how important it is to start here and not from that restricted, needy place we talked about before?

3 Tips for Busy Language Learners

  1. Stop racing and rushing. Fall in love with the language so that you’re not in a rush to get somewhere. You’ll naturally engage with it when you feel like this. Introduce it to your passions and interests, dance with it, welcome it into your daily life. Unlock the door, open the windows, let the fresh breeze of its culture into your home. You don’t have to “get it done”, you can just enjoy doing it.
  2. Change your state of mind. Stop thinking “It’s too hard”, “I don’t have time”, “I’ll never be able to remember all of this” etc. This is all too much thinking. Have you noticed that it’s our thoughts about something that overwhelm us, not the thing itself? Use the 5-second rule to help you take action before your mind takes over.
  3. Clarify your intentions, then let go. Intentions help you know where you’re headed but don’t overwhelm yourself with unrealistic expectations. If you add pressure, you’ll disconnect from the language and find yourself right back where you started, roaming the dead-end streets of worry in your head. So, instead of focusing on your ideal destination, just focus on your ideal day. And do the same again tomorrow. Start afresh every day. One step at a time.

When you’re thinking less and being more in the moment, the brain fog clears. You’ve freed up space. You’re able to focus much better and retain information. In short, you do what you’re doing well. You’re in the flow!

And when you do something well, you enjoy it more. And so the positive cycle continues.

Relax, enjoy.

Notice when you’re out on a boat and someone points out something for you on the shoreline to look at. If you strain your eyes, trying to force your focus, you won’t see it. Only when you relax and let the image come to you, do you now see it clearly. — “Time Warrior”, Steve Chandler

Clear your mind and stay connected to the present moment.

THIS is part of what I call mindful learning and it could possibly change your life. But don’t forget that YOU will still be the same person you’ve always been.

Whole, complete, perfect.

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