Feeling stuck? Like you’re going round in circles, frustrated, overwhelmed, at a loss to know what to do?
One step forward equals two steps back?
What if you could get clearer in your mind, know exactly what to do, blast away the unproductive busyness of daily life with a calm, razor-sharp focus? Find your flow…
If this sounds appealing, carry on reading.
The One Thing you have to do is…. Ask Yourself the Right Questions. I’ll be giving you some examples of these shortly but for the moment, bear with me.
We thought that we had the answers, it was the questions we had wrong. – Bono
You’re probably thinking, how do I know which are right or wrong questions?
Well, first of all, let me reassure you by saying that to start off with, any question that makes you slow down, take a step back and analyse your situation from a different perspective is a good one. In a nutshell, any question that makes you stop and think. You need to slow down to speed up. The right question is one that serves you in the moment based on who you want to be and what you want to do.
And the wrong questions?
Questions that don’t serve you are those that retain you in a victim mindset, such as “why does this always happen to me?”, “why is life so hard on me?” etc. When you find yourself asking this type of question, you need to take a flight above the clouds and see the bigger landscape, the larger picture.
Your next question might be “why can asking questions help?”
If we don’t ask any questions, then there’s a real possibility that we’ll stay stuck in the quagmire of our own thoughts, bogged down by stress, fear, anxiety, boredom. Lost in the constant race of our daily routine, we’ll just keep running but never actually get anywhere. In fact, most of the time, we don’t even know where we’re actually running to, we’re just trying to keep up with the rest of the pack.
Some examples:
To get you started, here are some thought-provoking questions that can rarely be answered “off the cuff”. You’ll need to take some quiet time to reflect on them:
What do I really want? In fact, what do I really, really want? What could be a first step towards that?- Why am I doing what I’m doing?
- Who am I being whilst I’m doing? How would I prefer to be? What effect might that have?
- How does that negative thought affect me? How would I be/feel without it – what would I feel inspired to do from that place?
- What is the message in this situation? What is the opportunity?
- How can I create more space for what I love?
- What can I say yes to? What can I say no to?
(For example, stop feeling obliged to say “yes” when your intuition is saying “no”. Ask yourself: by saying “yes” to that, what am I actually saying “no” to? Perhaps more time for myself or my family, less stress etc.)
And don’t forget this one:
8. Is that really true?
(When we analyse our thoughts, we realize that they are just that, thoughts, nothing more, and not absolute truths).
So, whether you’re stuck in your language learning, needing to find new motivation because you feel you’ve reached a plateau or lack the time or confidence you need to progress, or you’re lost in a stressful, mindless routine without a glimpse of an escape route, these questions can ignite a spark. One that will lead to clarity, calm and confidence.
Be creative, invent your own questions, lean into the ones that you feel inspired to ask yourself when you’re alone. Take that first step out of “stuckness”.
Photos courtesy of Unsplash (Austin Ban, Ken Treloar, Yeshi Kangrang, Chris Lawton, Danielle MacInnes)