“I’m always worried about not having the RIGHT word”, my client said.
In our communication, when can wanting to be right, be wrong?
“Right” has a lot to answer for.
If “Right” were a person, it would be a tall, haughty character who looks down with dismay at other people who aren’t like it.
A type of smug Mr Bean.
From an early age, we’re conditioned to look for one right answer.
If we don’t find it, we’re considered to be wrong.
And no one likes to be wrong. Especially not our brain.
So it’s not surprising that we bring that fear of being wrong into our foreign business communication.
And it makes us polish, postpone and put enormous pressure on ourselves.
We want to get somewhere but fear is the obstacle that blocks the way.
It’s the equivalent of jumping into a taxi and explaining to the driver:
“I need to go to this address, but don’t take that route. Don’t turn there. And don’t go straight on.”
The driver would simply tell us that it’s impossible for him to take us and to please get out.
In short, the thought “I need to have the right word” is stopping our international business conversations from arriving at their due destination.
Worse: it’s killing them.
That thought is simply not a thought that serves us in our business.
It DOESN’T work.
In life or business, when something doesn’t work, we fix it.
But how do we fix a belief?
In 2 steps:
- We realize that it’s simply a thought we’ve thought a lot that isn’t necessarily true.
- And then we look for a new thought to focus on that feels true and that serves us better.
We create a new pathway in our mind to override the old one.
Think about it: if I told you there was a faster, more enjoyable way of getting home from work.
It wouldn’t take you long to focus on the new route, would it?
After you had taken it a few times, you wouldn’t think about the old route any more.
Creating new beliefs is the same process.
And the easiest way is to first find neutral.
Like you do when you drive your car.
And then move up a gear to the next best thought. And then the next.
Trying out different pieces to see which one best fits the puzzle picture in your brain.
In essence, the ONLY right thing to do is this:
Change your mind about what effective communication looks like today and
give yourself the right to be creatively “you” in the language.
Sculpt your own relationship with it.
Free yourself from the need to be right.
And the curious thing is: you will be.
Want some help with that?